Time to Kick It up - Week 4 Update

4 weeks and no progress. None. Zip. Zilch. I’m still at 141 this morning. I’m more than disappointed in myself. I’m mad and frustrated and embarrassed.

Yesterday I tried on a couple pairs of jeans at Kohls and none of them fit, you know, like the ones I have in my closet. I was not happy with myself. The temperature is getting ready to drop and though I have a bunch of pants, I cannot wear them. I’m picturing myself in December, in the 2 pairs of capris I can fit into right now. I foresee that I will have chilly ankles. And yet, I’m not sure I want to shell out any money for more clothes when I HAVE clothes that are perfectly fine, except for the fact that I’m too fat to wear them. It’ll remind me every time I put my pants on that I have work to do. (And yes, I’m aware of my negative self talk right now).

So, it’s obviously time to move on and try something that works. I’ve really just been doing the t-tapp workout, and though it’s pretty powerful, I’m not seeing the results I want. I think I’ll sideline it as a toning exercise, though the program says not to do that, and get on with some other things. I don’t feel like I have time to mess around anymore.

So, I’ve started up again with Mr. Wii. He worked for me before. I’m using the EA Active 30 Day Challenge, this time. I’ll also be interspersing some Pilates, T-Tapp and walking in there. No, this is not “moderate”, however, I KNOW that for ME to start losing, I have got to move a lot more to jump start some weight loss and get the copious amounts of junk outta my trunk. So yeah, I guess it feels like I’m starting over. Again.

I’ve also fallen off the food journaling bandwagon. Again. This week, I’m going to try to keep up with 2, the food pyramid tracker and my My Fitness Pal tracker. I’d like to see how they compare.

And that’s where we go from here. I hope it actually leads somewhere.

The Update Week 3

After my last sulky post, the rest of this week has gone pretty well. I’ve been eating much better, and feeling better as well. I’m on day 12 of my 14 day T-Tapp boot camp. I think I’m improving in my form and feeling like I’m getting a bit more out of it.

As of yesterday, I’m back down to 141, so I’m down a pound.

I haven’t been walking as much this week, but I’m ok with that. I still feel ok. Once, the T-tapp stuff is done, I can go down to working out every other day and can mix in some walking. Frankly, I was pretty sore from the workouts. The book recommends alfalfa for helping with this, and though initially skeptical, I’ve been taking it and it seems to work. I feel less sore.

This week, I consciously cut back on salt. Not that I add a lot of salt to things, but I cut back even more and watched the products I was eating. I read more labels when I grocery shopped last weekend and deliberately chose things with the lowest sodium. I’m not sure what my actual sodium counts have been, but, it’s been noticeably lower. When I went out for lunch yesterday, I had a burrito and then a few tortilla chips. To me they tasted very salty. I was so thirsty last night I drank double the amount of water I have normally been drinking in a day, but in one night. I felt ill. I did a quick search to see what else I could do, as the water was didn’t seem to be helping much, or rather, wasn’t helping fast enough. The recommendation seemed to be potassium, so I ate a banana. I did feel some relief within about an hour after that. It was a very interesting experience and means that I will continue to watch my sodium intake.

Sweet cravings didn’t seem to be as big of a problem this week. I didn’t abstain completely, but I was fine to just have a few bites of chocolate or something and then to say “I’ve had enough” and truly leave it alone; to feel like I was “done”. I didn’t have that gaping hole where I felt like I just had to have “MORE”. I haven’t had my real “dessert” this week, but we’re going to a birthday party today, so I’ll get to have cake there. I’m looking forward to it. Again, it was a very interesting experience.

So despite not having a whole lot of real, measurable progress, I feel like this week ended more positively than it started, which is a very good thing.

Sulking

This was a really busy weekend, and I didn’t get a chance to post my update. I also didn’t “make” time.

As of Saturday, I’ve gained 2 lbs. I’m 142.

Insert major sulk here. (mature, I know) And anger and a smidgen of self disgust. All things that strike fear into my heart. I don’t want to go down this path.

Last week, was not a bad week. I walked pretty much every day and I’ve found a new workout I’ve been doing. I wish I could say that I think the weight gain is from muscle and I would believe that if I had gained weight, but felt like my clothes were looser.

They are NOT looser.

In fact, I went to put some jeans on the other day, and ALL my jeans were tight. Now, I haven’t worn jeans/pants in over a month, probably more like 6 weeks, so it could be that they were just as tight a few weeks ago. I don’t know. It was depressing as all get out, let me tell ya.

So, what is going on? Good question. Obviously, I’m not doing something right. In fact, I think I’m trying TOO hard to make sure I’m getting enough “servings” of things that I’m probably eating more than I need. So, I’m going to work on downsizing my portions. I also need to slow down when I’m eating. I think I’m eating too fast because usually I’m in a hurry. And while I’m not eating a lot of junk food, snacking in the evening is sneaking in and maybe right now, I seriously need to limit any sweets to say weekends only and then take the time to have a nice dessert then.

After some research, I’ve also determined that I need to cut down on my salt. I don’t eat a lot of it, but it does sneak in. So I’m going to work on being more conscious of that.

I’m going to keep walking, keep working out and work on the salt/sweets/snacks this week and see what happens.

So, doom and gloom aside, here’s what IS working for me. The cold water is definitely working. I have a container that is exactly the amount I “should” be drinking and I fill that up the night before and I’m set with cold water for the next day. I’m definitely drinking a lot more than I was a few weeks ago. It’s been hot here so I’ve been drinking more than I calculated, but that’s ok. If I’m thirsty, I drink. Even on the days when I don’t feel “thirsty”, I try to drink at least the one container.

I’ve been doing this for a long time, but I thought it bore mentioning. Once or twice a week, after I do groceries, I make a huge bowl of salad and keep it in the fridge. I mix in baby greens, spinach, romain lettuce and green onions. This way I always have fresh salad ready to grab as a side or even as a whole meal. I’ll often add other fruits/veggies or nuts later on (they don’t keep in the bowl well). If I add some leftover meat/beans I’ve got a whole meal that only took me 3 minutes to prepare and I don’t have any excuse not to eat some salad. (Not that that is a problem. I love salad). And I think this is cheaper than buying just prepared salad. Several servings for multiple people for a whole week (if not a bit more) costs under $6. (My local Aldi rocks for produce prices).

A tip that Carmen over at The Elff Diet (she’s my hero) shared a while ago is to have small bowl of dressing on the side of your salad and to dip your fork in the dressing before loading up with veggies. You’ll use a lot less dressing, but still get the flavor.

I found some flavoured applesauce by Motts at the grocery store a few weeks ago. I initially bought them for the girls snacks, but I found that I really like them. They have no added sugar or artificial sweetners and the extra fruit mixed in doesn’t have that weird “doesn’t really mix well” taste. The peach one is really good, and I normally don’t like peach flavoured stuff. They have been working well when I feel like I want something sweet but don’t want to overdo it. And it counts as a serving of fruit as well!

Ok, so that’s where I stand/slump, whatever. I’m not giving up. I will figure this out.

So for tomorrow, I’ve been working on some book reviews and hope to get those finished up and posted. It’s good stuff, trust me.

Week 1. The Update

While the coffee is brewing this Saturday morning, I thought I’d write up an update.

So, this week has been, um, interesting. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to. I had some really great days and some not so great days. I feel better from walking regularly again, already, which is a big plus, but didn’t manage the eating so well. It was another week of non-stop action with the girls, school meetings and birthday parties. Food for me was kind of on the back burner and I didn’t always make very good choices. And I didn’t get in the exact strength training in that I wanted to, but I have started a different exercise routine that I’ll talk about more later.

I haven’t plugged my info into the USDA counter in a few days either, because by the end of the day, I’m just done with a capital D.

And again, I spent most of this week in a fog of exhaustion. With all of my energy going into the girls and keeping things moving throughout the day, there’s little left for me at the end of the day and again, I’m scrounging, looking for any kind of energy boost to get me through.

Earlier this week I was down a pound, but as of today its’ back on there. Sigh. The same pattern. I start of well and then it all goes downhill after a few days.

So, I’m left wondering what to do.

Last night, I went to bed earlier than I normally do and I slept in later than I would normally during the week, as I get up to walk early before Hubster leaves for work. I slept for 8 solid hours and the girls slept through as well, so I’m feeling less exhausted today.

I’m thinking that I going to spend this week getting myself to bed a bit earlier, though it will mean cutting some time with Hubster, which always makes me feel bad.

I don’t want to give up the exercise because that is just too important. I’m committing almost an hour to myself with walking and a bit of toning work. That seems to be ok.
I would say that the food this week was kind of like the “toddler diet” my pediatrician talks about. She said that the days will not be balanced, but the weeks will be. And it’s true, my 2 year old will one day eat nothing but fruit, another day is all carbs, then it’ll be meat and veg. I wonder how she can get through the whole day, but when I look at the week, I see she’s done ok.

Now, as a grown adult, I don’t know if this is such a good idea.

So…. Balance. How do I find that? And how can I make it NOT be a production. My brain wants to “obsess” about it (and I’ve had eating issues in the past, and so this alarms me), but I don’t have the time or energy to obsess about it. Do other people do this? To me, many other people make it seem easy. I want it just to “be” and feel confident that I’m getting what I need, but not have it consume my free waking moments, of which there are so few. It does feel as though all I think about is FOOD: what to feed the girls for breakfast and then me, then someone asks for snacks (or we go out and I have to make sure I have snacks), what to make for lunch, snacks, get dinner ready, snacks, what to make for dinner the next day… what am *I* going to eat/not eat… have I eaten enough xyz, had too many calories, not enough veggies. It goes on and on. And then I have to grocery shop and plan for the next week all over again.

Does there come a point when it’s easier? What can I do to MAKE it less complicated?

Maybe if I come up with a “formula”, as in eat abc for breakfast (combination of something), def for lunch and then xyz for dinner. Ack.. I don’t know. That seems just as complicated.

So it’s back to the drawing board this week. I knew this would be tough, and it is. This time, I’m going to break through it and find a way to just make this be a part of my life and not a “diet”. I don’t know HOW yet, but I will.

And that’s the update on week 1. Depressing. Ha.

Now, time for some coffee!