Week 1. The Update

While the coffee is brewing this Saturday morning, I thought I’d write up an update.

So, this week has been, um, interesting. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to. I had some really great days and some not so great days. I feel better from walking regularly again, already, which is a big plus, but didn’t manage the eating so well. It was another week of non-stop action with the girls, school meetings and birthday parties. Food for me was kind of on the back burner and I didn’t always make very good choices. And I didn’t get in the exact strength training in that I wanted to, but I have started a different exercise routine that I’ll talk about more later.

I haven’t plugged my info into the USDA counter in a few days either, because by the end of the day, I’m just done with a capital D.

And again, I spent most of this week in a fog of exhaustion. With all of my energy going into the girls and keeping things moving throughout the day, there’s little left for me at the end of the day and again, I’m scrounging, looking for any kind of energy boost to get me through.

Earlier this week I was down a pound, but as of today its’ back on there. Sigh. The same pattern. I start of well and then it all goes downhill after a few days.

So, I’m left wondering what to do.

Last night, I went to bed earlier than I normally do and I slept in later than I would normally during the week, as I get up to walk early before Hubster leaves for work. I slept for 8 solid hours and the girls slept through as well, so I’m feeling less exhausted today.

I’m thinking that I going to spend this week getting myself to bed a bit earlier, though it will mean cutting some time with Hubster, which always makes me feel bad.

I don’t want to give up the exercise because that is just too important. I’m committing almost an hour to myself with walking and a bit of toning work. That seems to be ok.
I would say that the food this week was kind of like the “toddler diet” my pediatrician talks about. She said that the days will not be balanced, but the weeks will be. And it’s true, my 2 year old will one day eat nothing but fruit, another day is all carbs, then it’ll be meat and veg. I wonder how she can get through the whole day, but when I look at the week, I see she’s done ok.

Now, as a grown adult, I don’t know if this is such a good idea.

So…. Balance. How do I find that? And how can I make it NOT be a production. My brain wants to “obsess” about it (and I’ve had eating issues in the past, and so this alarms me), but I don’t have the time or energy to obsess about it. Do other people do this? To me, many other people make it seem easy. I want it just to “be” and feel confident that I’m getting what I need, but not have it consume my free waking moments, of which there are so few. It does feel as though all I think about is FOOD: what to feed the girls for breakfast and then me, then someone asks for snacks (or we go out and I have to make sure I have snacks), what to make for lunch, snacks, get dinner ready, snacks, what to make for dinner the next day… what am *I* going to eat/not eat… have I eaten enough xyz, had too many calories, not enough veggies. It goes on and on. And then I have to grocery shop and plan for the next week all over again.

Does there come a point when it’s easier? What can I do to MAKE it less complicated?

Maybe if I come up with a “formula”, as in eat abc for breakfast (combination of something), def for lunch and then xyz for dinner. Ack.. I don’t know. That seems just as complicated.

So it’s back to the drawing board this week. I knew this would be tough, and it is. This time, I’m going to break through it and find a way to just make this be a part of my life and not a “diet”. I don’t know HOW yet, but I will.

And that’s the update on week 1. Depressing. Ha.

Now, time for some coffee!